I saw the expression "Hard times will always reveal true friends" and it made me think

What do I do when my friends are having a tough time?

Do I support them enough? Do I understand then enough? Do I give help where it is needed for them, not what I think they need? Am I a quiet support presence or a loud presence? What does a friend having a difficult time need? And can I actually provide it?

Then I thought, if something scares me or I don't know or I don't understand I step back, because it's the unknown and that is scary, this is human nature.

I thought, well all mankind aren't actually mean, I don't know people who have just abandoned anyone in a spiteful or mean manner? People are generally kind. I can't understand how people would just walk away from a friend in trouble, it seems rather cold?

Then I think of conversations I have had

From people struggling - "why doesn't anyone help me, it's like they don't listen to/ hear me, this is when I need support the most"

From the friends - "I don't know what to do, I can't connect with them to actually understand, it's like what I say doesn't matter, I can't seem to do anything right"

So I wonder if it is not perhaps just misunderstanding and confusion?

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